So I went in to schedule the meeting. I told her I was sick and needed to talk to a counselor. She thinks it would be smart to get union representation of a steward. They act as lawyer likes to be present during the meeting to make sure disciplinary action is fair. The problem is I've used stewards before due to problems had at work, not on housings property. And they all suck. They all talk with the harassment under their breath supporting a drama in my life that has nothing to do with them. And again its not something I get to discuss with them just listen to their opinions. So I went and looked at the list. I wanted to find a woman steward. There is only one and she works at a hotel far away from me, still the same union. I'm going to go back to the paper and get her number. I want a woman, because the basis of my case is the illness the rape caused last october. I need to tell her that these six months have been excruciatingly painful with the rapist heckling that he touched my asshole everyday when I walked past him in the courtyard. The communities support of laughing at it and people thinking its funny to say that they too would touch it made me sink into a depression that I spent no social time with anyone for half a year, and that I'm not able to control my boiling over. I want to be responsible. And I want to be mature so I probably won't mention the thoughts of murder.
They tricked me again. Changed the schedule on me. I don't work until this afternoon. I stayed up all night and am now raging on caffein. Should be a wonderful day. I don't call pussies at work pussies.
I did manage to sleep from 5am to 8am. And had this crazy dream. I was moving into a house with several roommates. I was shown my room by a woman. There was a kitten. A little soft fluffy kitten that snuck up on me and attacked me and we played. Then I would not be in the room and I would try to find my room again, in this four or five bedroomed house. The rooms had second doors which attached to other hallways. I kept walking through my new roommates rooms and kept having the feeling I was invading their space. I just wanted to get to my room. I would find it. And there would be the kitten. Fast sneaky kitten that would want to play again. And then I wouldn't be in the room any more and I would need to try and find my room again walking through my roommates things again. One living room had several mattresses on the ground with no furniture, and a t.v. Children were there, I watched television with them. One of the kids walked me to a park where some other kids from the house were playing basket ball with their father, my roommate. I don't dream much, or at least never remember them. So that was nice.
The voices are saying all the same things this morning. I'll keep this chapter short, as I want it written before I go to work. And I will tell what happens exactly as it happens. I'm going to go call that woman now.