The day I thought I was going to be kidnapped (but then my arms just got really long)

It began as a normal day. woke up early, drove to school, went to class. After class was when things got a little fishy. I noticed that i had quite a few texts and missed calls on my phone from my roommate, Nikki. She even left me a voicemail. I listened immediately. Something about cops in bullet proof vests and a suspicious package looking for me at my apartment. Nikki gave me a number to reach these "secret postal federal agents" so that this sketchy business could get figured out. I proceeded to call the number and a woman informed me that a package had been sent to me which had come up on their radar as suspicious. I knew who it was from. she questioned me on the phone. "who do you know that would send this from north carolina?" "what would they be sending you?". I replied, "my uncle" "fresh cinnamon rolls, they are amish or dutch or something." " he says they are the best cinnamon rolls in the world." The woman asked, "are they 'special' cinnamon rolls?" "NO, what?" "like marijuana?!?" "I hope my uncle wouldn't send me special cinnamon rolls."


moving forward in the conversation moved the woman to tell me that i had 2 options to go about getting my package. 1st, I could give my consent for her to search the package and then if all was safe they could let me have the package. 2nd, they could just give the package to the federal court and the box would probably sit around for a few days as i wait for the judge and the fbi secret agents to search it. (i don't really know if the fbi would). anyways, I ingeniously chose to take option number 1. There was one problem though, I would be at school till the late hours of the evening. They were all the way in who knows where. They meaning there was a man with the woman. I told the woman about this issue and she advised me to look for a fax machine on campus. Then I could just receive the paperwork, sign in, send it back, and they could reship the package to my house after they searched it. I couldn't find a fax machine. I called the woman back and she says, "well my office is in LA, why don't I just come to USC and meet you somewhere?!" I agreed to this doing, without really realizing till 5 minutes after getting off the phone with her that this seemed like kind of a sketchy business. I mean, she did tell me exactly where to meet her on MY campus and within an exact time slot. I got into thinking about this whole situation a lot more, until the thought came to my mind that they were setting this whole thing up to try and kidnap me. My body was flushed with worry and I wanted to call everyone and tell them i loved them.


I sat on this bench continuing to think about the whole scheme. I was scared, like legitimately scared. I contemplated calling a friend to tag along with me, or even campus safety. They could stop the crazy kidnappers, right?!? As i got into more thinking about the situation I realized that the location in which we were about to meet was actually in a pretty populated area during the school hours. I think this canceled out about half my fear. I decided to just go for it, and go get those cinnamon rolls from those bad guys. I finally arrived at my destination via mr. flexdex (skateboard) and to my surprise found them waiting at their suburban, the woman and her co worker guy. they had official silver plated badges hanging around their necks, but I guess they decided to leave the intimidation factor out by changing back into their "normal" person apparel. My surroundings were calm, no sketchy looking men with black ski masks on in the back of the suburban. I settled down a little more.


The woman pulled out the paper work and showed me what to fill out, sign, say on the sheets of federal government paper. She then gave me a copy of the paperwork to keep for myself. its evidence yes, that this all happened. The woman and man were rather friendly. They asked me what my uncle did. I immediately thought about how he is a pharmaceutical rep but in my thoughts It was "oh he sells drug". I didn't actually say this out loud. I couldn't think of the word pharmaceutical rep at the time so i held back and told them he worked at ECU instead. Phew!


They began going through the package, which I forgot to mention was about 1 foot by 1 foot by 1.5 feet in volume. It was pretty massive. Before my own eyes, and theirs cinnamon rolls upon cinnamon rolls were seen piled in freezer bags on top of one another. It was pure cinnamon rolls. Pure, dense, but also, the world's best cinnamon rolls I would find out later that evening after eating one. Ill just say there were A LOT! After confirming that the package had been safe all along the two left me with my huge box of cinnamon rolls. This next part of the story isn't very long at all, but basically I had a mile to go to my car to put these things away while I went to class. I had a backpack and my skateboard as well. I decided to ride my board for a bit with this package in arms, like I was hugging a polar bear, but then there were intersections to be crossed and crowds of students to be passed. I decided to walk, with my skateboard on top of the box. To my relief I reached my car, after about 15 minutes of walking, and my arms were finally freed. thank goodness. Oh and my arms felt really long because of all the weight i carried for that amount of time with a huge awkward box. It was well worth this whole story though, and hearing my mom laugh forever on the phone. Not to mention, well worth the gift of sharing them with all of my friends at school and at home.


Thank you uncle Chris for the amazing cinnamon rolls. They were worth every little minute of that experience.