Ninja Rescue

Ninja Rescue

My friend Danny was a cop in San Francisco. He worked midnights. He liked to hang out at Hunt’s Donut Shop on Chestnut Street and flirt with all the ladies. He wasn’t the best or the brightest policeman. He was part of the old midnight squad that went to sleep at 2am. You would see them carrying their pillows, sleeping bags, and teddy bears out to their police cars after the 10pm roll call.

They’d always warn new guys, “Hey new guy, we go to sleep at 2am. So, don’t expect any backup after that.”

Danny was a big boy weighing in at 350 plus pounds. He needed suspenders to hold up his gun belt over his large belly. The only working out Danny did was consuming coffee and donuts on midnights. One summer day in San Francisco; our captain, a sergeant, and a private were having lunch eating subs at Fishermen’s Wharf. They were seated on a park bench eating their carryout lunch at the Cable Car Turnaround in Aquatic Park.

A six foot, two inch tall black suited ninja walked out onto the brick walkway at the cable car turnaround wearing a Bo staff fighting stick, a katana sword, and various other martial arts weapons including throwing stars. The ninja demonstrated a command presence in his posture, movement, and bearing. The ninja approached the captain, sergeant, and officer sitting on a park bench. The ninja walked on the balls of his feet in a slow deliberate manner like he was feeling the ground with his slip-on ninja Tabi footwear resembling skin divers boots. The scene would have looked strange in most cities except San Francisco, which always had a Hollywood feel to it with individual fashion often times resembling a bold statement.

The sergeant asked, “Is there something we can help you with?”

 The ninja did not answer, but he began striking the three police officers with his Bo staff fighting stick formerly mounted on his back. The five foot eleven and a half inch Japanese Bo staff fighting stick had a wicked reach as the ninja began attacking the captain, sergeant, and private by striking them with the stick.

The one and one sixteenth diameter oak stick hit solidly on the arms, legs, and any viable target. The attack was so fast and so savage that none of the officers could react other than to attempt to defend themselves from the blows with their hands and arms. There are three hundred and fifty moves associated with the “Bo” Japanese fighting stick and the ninja demonstrated all of them in the attack.

All three of the officers were armed with their pistols. The sergeant was the only one of the three to be armed with a police baton and pepper spray. The three officers attempted unsuccessfully to work together to subdue the ninja as he continued to beat them up. The sergeant called for assistance on the radio. A crowd of onlookers watched, but offered no assistance. The ninja struck each officer

Danny was working overtime covering the day work shift. This was the first time Danny worked day work in many years. Danny took the ten-thirty-three officer needs assistance request radio call. Danny pulled up to the cable car turnaround and observed the ninja attacking the three officers. Danny assessed the scene for hazards before determining a course of action. Danny put the vehicle in gear, jumped the curb, and struck the ninja with the car. The impact propelled the ninja several feet into the air before he landed with an alarming thud on the brick faced surface.

The impact knocked the ninja out. The fighting stick flew out of the Ninja’s hands and into the air landing in the grass. Danny handcuffed the unconscious ninja before performing first aid on the three injured officers. Each officer sustained bruises, contusions, and abrasions. Danny Called dispatch requesting an ambulance for the still unconscious ninja. Danny saved the three officers, but he put management in a unique position. Using vehicles as weapons was not authorized and was a violation of general orders. If they rewarded him they would be supporting an agency policy violation, but if they punished him saving three officers lives they would suffer the wrath of the troops and the police union. So, management did not do anything. The officer saved their lives and nothing was mentioned of it, until now.

Like the old horse mounted cop used to say “Police work can be fun and funny.”